I Still Get Nervous

This work is personal. Every. SINGLE. TIME!

I’ve been a portrait photographer for over a decade now, and guess what?
I still get so incredibly nervous every time I deliver a client’s gallery.
Truly nervous. That familiar tight feeling in my stomach, the heat in my palms. It happens without fail. And for a moment, I question every decision, every thought or action.

You’d think after all these years it would settle. That the experience, the consistency, the experience, the feedback would quiet that part of me. But the truth is, it hasn’t, and I honestly doubt it ever will.
Because the work I do isn’t mechanical. It’s not about lighting ratios or technical perfection. It isn't about the pretty picture or an alternate reality.
It’s about people. About being seen. And that never, ever feels small…on the contrary.

I spend hours with each person I photograph. Not just during the session, but before - getting to know them, understanding what matters, listening, observing, preparing. And during the session itself, it’s about trust. Slowing down. Not performing. Just existing in that moment together.

So yes, when I sit with someone during a reveal, there’s a flutter of fear. What if they don’t connect with what they see? What if they feel disconnected from the version of themselves I’ve witnessed and captured, and in that moment, loved? What if they can’t recognise their worth the way I do?

I used to think my job was to help people feel beautiful. That if I could just reflect back something stunning, maybe they’d believe it. But these days, I don’t think in those terms anymore.

I don’t care if you feel beautiful. Or at least not as much as I care about other, more important and less superficial things.

What I care about is that you feel seen and honoured. That the final portrait from our session together reflects back the reality that is you.

Because beauty, in the way we’ve been taught to define it, is fickle. It changes. It excludes. It shrinks us to what we look like. But being seen—really seen—is expansive. It reminds us that we’re allowed to exist in our full humanity. That our value doesn’t shift depending on the softness of our jawline or the texture of our skin.
And that to me, is TRUE, gut-wrenching, mind-shifting beauty!

There are days I struggle with my own reflection. I notice things that weren’t there before. I have moments where I feel heavy, or tired, or off. I’ve had stretch marks appear seemingly overnight and felt that familiar internal spiral begin. But I’m learning to pause. To stay with myself instead of fleeing. To remind myself that I am not an object to be evaluated, but a person living a life. Self-acceptance is everything in a world that is constantly trying to make us doubt every single thing about ourselves.

So no, I won’t smooth every wrinkle in Photoshop. I won’t shrink your body or help you chase an unattainable ideal. What I will do is hold space. I’ll show up with care and attention. I’ll help you settle. I’ll watch for the moments where your guard slips and your presence rises. And then I’ll photograph that.

That’s what makes me nervous. That’s what keeps it vulnerable for me, too. So very vulnerable.

Because this is not about perfection. It’s about presence. It’s about people. It’s about you. And you don’t need to do or change or achieve anything to deserve that. You’re already worthy of being seen and documented for everything that you are.

Ready to go on this portrait journey with me?